²¹ “Submit to God and be at peace with him;
in this way prosperity will come to you.

²² Accept instruction from his mouth
and lay up his words in your heart.

²³ If you return to the Almighty, you will be restored:
If you remove wickedness far from your tent

²⁴ and assign your nuggets to the dust,
your gold of Ophir to the rocks in the ravines,

²⁵ then the Almighty will be your gold,
the choicest silver for you.

²⁶ Surely then you will find delight in the Almighty
and will lift up your face to God.

²⁷ You will pray to him, and he will hear you,
and you will fulfill your vows.

²⁸ What you decide on will be done,
and light will shine on your ways”

Job 22: 21-28 NIV 

9min read

In our culture today a ‘wife submitting to her husband’ is a very offensive statement. Submission is something I believe women despise in our culture, I know I did. And for myself just over 2 years ago, I saw submitting to my husband as a form of weakness. The idea of having a husband that was in charge was distorted to me. Why would I need a man to do things for me when I could do them for myself. And how can I submit to someone who does not know how to do it like I do? There was a level of self protection there, that is saying to God you have stuffed up here, I now need to take these matters into my own hands. But the more I pushed my husband away and dominated over our marriage, the more I resented him. And the resentment was there because I did not see why I needed him. I thought I could do it on my own, and I could….but it was drowning me. I was so blind to my own desires, that I thought he was my problem, but I was robbing myself of my own peace.

² “I praise you for remembering me in everything and for holding to the traditions just as I passed them on to you. ³ But I want you to realize that the head of every man is Christ, and the head of the woman is man, and the head of Christ is God.”

¹¹ “Nevertheless, in the Lord woman is not independent of man, nor is man independent of woman. ¹² For as woman came from man, so also man is born of woman. But everything comes from God.”

1 Corinthians 11: 2-3 and 11-12 NIV

      In the bible God speaks about the house and the hierarchy of the household. And whether you want to believe it or not, it is for the benefit of the man and the woman alike. Since I have started to understand what submission looks like, I believe God has opened my eyes to its simple beauty to the term of trust. The more I trust my husband, the more I submit to him taking charge. I know there will be days he stuffs up, and there will be days he makes the wrong choices, just like you and I do. But we are a family, united under one household, so his victory is my victory, his downfall is my downfall, his struggle is my struggle, and we are instructed to raise each other up in the way of the LORD. This does not mean I do not have a voice. It means that I lay down my thoughts and ideas to him and allow him to move forward with strength and in confidence knowing that I am backing him up in all that he does. There is so much beauty and peace in that, that when the man is supported by the woman and the woman is heard and seen, they are a household that cannot be reckoned with. They support each other, they hear each other, they see each other. Like God sees us, like God hears us, like God desires to be close to us and give us His peace. There is an interdependence here that strengthens one another, causing a powerhouse to develop under the headship of Jesus. He is our perfect model and He desires to show us how to love each other instead of bind each other. I believe men have a deep desire to lead their own home. It’s a scary thing but God instructs it that way. And I believe it gives the woman the opportunity to step back and allow the man to show up in his masculinity and strength. 

      As a woman I have a desire to control, it is a spirit that I believe has been since the beginning of Genesis 3. I believe that desire to control causes our peace to be taken away from us because in that moment, Eve decided to eat the fruit of the tree without first consoling her husband Adam. And like many men do now in our culture, Adam sat back and watched while sin entered their lives. Woman are instructed to respect and honour their husbands, and men are instructed to love their wives like Christ loves the church. He gave up His life for her. What does that look like in our culture today? 

¹“ Wives, in the same way submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, ² when they see the purity and reverence of your lives. ³Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. ⁴ Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. ⁵ For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to adorn themselves. They submitted themselves to their own husbands, ⁶ like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her lord. You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear.

⁷ Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers.”

1 Peter 3: 1-7 NIV

      Submission has become such an ugly word in our culture because of the people who use the power of submission to cause unhealthy authority over those who are less than them. This is not of the spirit of God. The spirit of God is inviting, empowering and carries the peace that surpasses all understanding. We live in a culture where the women make the choices, the women are the dominating voices, where the feminist movement causes us to do double the work and we desire to have the peace that God originally intended for us. How? I look around and I see many woman who are exhausted. The juggling act of trying to do it all for myself was the slow killer for me. Women desire to teach their husbands, instead of loving them while building them up. And men are happy to sit back with a lack of true love for their wives, while they are robbed of their masculinity. It wasn’t until I stepped back and said “I don’t want to do it the way of the world anymore,” that the true peace of God fell down onto me. It’s His way that is the only way. I didn’t know I wanted this. It seems nice in the stories and old Disney movies where the woman is swept off her feet. But we live in a culture where as woman it is praised to work, instead of raising our children. It is praised to have a title next to our names instead of calling ourselves mothers. The responsibility of raising our children is priceless. Be the voice of influence in your child’s life by not giving that title to anyone or anything else. What an honour it is to be called a Holy Woman of God. 

      God has a hierarchy for a reason. I believe it is so each person can take their responsibility and leave the rest, trusting that it will be done. We are not designed to carry all the burden ourselves. We are in relationship to lean on each other and the first step to doing that for me was understanding who God is. God is the source of all good things. When you read last week’s blog- Can He be Trusted? https://godlywives.blog/can-he-be-trusted/We can understand who God is. All the earth praises His name when they are in submission to Him. When I trust God, it is easier to trust my husband. It is easier to allow the process to take its place. Even when I am not in agreement with it, I can rest knowing God is above all things and He will work out all things for the benefit of those who love Him. 

²¹ “Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.

²² Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. ²³ For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. ²⁴ Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.”

Ephesians 5:22-24 NIV

All I know in my own life, the more I wanted to work as much as my husband, make as much money as my husband, there was an unhealthy competition and a desire to dominate. I wanted to be the woman who could do it all. Have the job, have the clean house, raise beautiful well behaved children and have the perfect marriage all in one season. I step back now, I love that I can give my husband burdens to carry so I do not have to. I love that I prioritise what is important: my marriage, my children, our household. Each burden is beautiful in itself if it is stewarded well. If the priority is in its right place, the reward will be there in it’s time. My priority is my family. And the more I trust my husband, the more united we are in our household, carrying our individual burdens while supporting each other. One family united under the headship of the LORD Jesus Christ.

Nadia x

All for His Glory.  

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